It is said that compatibility is king when it comes to establishing a long-term and gratifying relationship. I believe communication is queen if you desire true harmony and clarity. The most well-matched couples are sure to have differences, disagreements but must be committed to working out the kinks.
If your man or woman prefers jazz and you prefer hip hop, the two worlds may collide but while the difference may cause some irritation you can probably negotiate vacation, restaurants, etc. in other words you may wish to pick your battles. Take the time to learn about the jazz legends as you share like information about your world of hip hop. If you are skilled enough to show how both of your worlds can connect you may be ahead of the game or than you realize.
In the filet of a relationship, when the rose colored glasses marries romanticism and sensuality, one's thinking can become very foggy. It is easy to ignore differences but as time passes on, the red flags become stop signs and non-negotiables. Here are some things that you may wish to consider:
1. Goals/Drive. Some people wait for life to happen to them, they become content with what comes their way. Career advancement, monetary gain, or achieving big goals may be unimportant. Other people are just the opposite — they are highly driven and desire more. It is important to be with someone who is on the same page, he or she must be someone who shares your level of ambition at least 80 percent.
2. Core Values. Does this individual have a similar philosophy on life? Do you both share a common ground regarding, politics, religion or spirituality, financed, etc. Do both of you desire children? What are your thoughts regarding education, the environment, philanthropy? Are you both givers or is that an important matter? Do you match intellectually?
3. Appearance. Does weight, height hair length, other personal hygiene mean a lot? Are you both neat freaks, or is that even a factor to be considered? What are the deal breakers when comes to your preferences?
4. Family/Friends. Do you know much about the relationship with your partner's family? What are the health concerns that you need to be concerned with? Are there any issues with the law? IRS? Lien holders?
While you continue to learn something new about your partner everyday, remember that humor is imperative. Can you both laugh at each other and with each other? Does life seem more enjoyable with your partner more often than not? If not, there may be some real soul searching needed. Relationships are vital, but inner peace is critical.
Continued love and support!
January Dunn is a Caribbean writer living in the New York metro area. Stay tuned on more thoughts regarding relationships and dating.